If you have half as much fun reading this post as I had writing it, well, then I had twice as much fun writing the post as you did reading it.

Did someone say that young lawyers aren’t soulless husks? Not quite, but it seems like the corporate fuckpuppet status is something to drop in reverence and soon be regarded with confusion over past motivations. Honestly, the frat hazing attitude that some people have over their own long gone hardships confounds me more than those dumb fuckin’ “I Support Our Troops” magnetic ribbons on the back of every suburban cunt’s armored little league troop carrier. It’s the only reason I can see partners at a law firm so upset over their young associates inability to forfeit their lives to a fundamentally dishonest entity that would more likely confiscate their sister’s anal virginity than offer them their lofty reward for such undying sacrifice. Maybe I’m not the vindictive cocklunch these older tortured litigators are, but it seems the oppression is misplaced on their juniors and would only serve to perpetuate the vicious circle alluded to in the article. Maybe things aren’t looking so bad for the so called “Generation Y” (what a horribly unimaginative appellation), and in fact we may well be starting to care more about quality of life than quantity of money.

Casey McCall: It’s a vicious circle.
Dan Rydell: Yep. Just keeps going around and around.
Casey McCall: Never stops.
Dan Rydell: That’s what makes it vicious.
Casey McCall: And a circle.

For the purpose of using TrackBack

Those fuckers stole my CatCam idea and strapped it to poor Lucky the german shepherd. He doesn’t look too happy about the facebelt snuggling that photo WAP up against his brain. I’ve got a fiver on Rover taking a finger with him when you try and put that motherfucker on him again. Besides, I like the idea John and I came up with to have the apparatus knitted into a pet sweater so the cat could wear it in a less awkward place than his forehead. Honestly, that dog is what happens when you get a Borg, a Klingon and a unwitting canine in a room with some pornography and lube.

EN sent me the Microsoft guide to reading your children’s chatlogs a few days ago and I’ve been trying to ease “|-|4/\/\” into an online conversation. It hasn’t come up. In addition, EN just sent me a link to the original Hitchhiker’s Guide To The Galaxy text adventure game in flash, complete with images for the scenes. The Bill Hicks quote is a classic, and more people need to read and follow it. I think with the posting momentum we’ve got now, we’re both required to keep posting at this rate or faster. Feel obliged… feel very obliged.

Note: SM seems to have a big problem referencing itself on a TrackBack ping. My attempt at TrackingBack has failed and I am worse off for it. I’m going to go kill myself… with media. Continue reading

MISTA DRILLAH!

Is the Dreamcast considered ‘retro’ yet? For a system with such a short life span, How could I love it so much. Today was total dork out day. I spent much of it watching Star Trek Voyager in my underware (that’s not what made it dork out day…). Post shower and dressing myself, we were going to go see a movie, but once it got late and Harry & Phil were already settled in I decided now was the time to introduce them to my old love interest, The Sega Dreamcast. Harry’s initial reaction was along the lines of “Holy Shit, You still have one of these? Does it work… Isn’t this what they played games on back in the 90′s…” After a brief history of gaming to get them up to speed, I broke out the old DC Spindle and we started down the stack. Old favorites like Crazy Taxi, Tony Hawk 1 & 2, Sonic Adventure, Wetrix+ and MDK 2 came rushing back to me, but my eyes were on the prize: Self Bootable Mr. Driller with CDDA. Oh yes… This is the stuff dreams are made of.
Mr. Driller’s overly simplistic gameplay and cunningly trick levels made for HOURS of enjoyment. I only wish the DC version had a multiplayer like the DS version does. Which reminds me… must hunt down Driller-Kun import, the US release doesn’t let you play multiplayer from 1 cartridge, JAP does. They get these things because they are better than us, or so Brandon says.
Eventually we came full circle back to current gen systems playing Naruto: Narutimate Hero until my eyes dried up from not blinking for 30 minutes straight. I think unplanned game night was a success. Next time I think I’m going to try dropping Tetrisphere on them. That should rock their brains just enough. Continue reading

I feel a need, a need to post

Yeah, the photo should get your attention. This is one step closer to the Kitty-Cat Bullet Cam idea, but used in a practical sense… Putting dogs in dangersous situations that humans need not be in. As much fun as it would be to watch a “well trained” police sniffer dog fetch dynomite (No, it’s really not fun at all), I felt I just needed to post somthing.
It almost feels like an obligation now. I wish I had more to say or at least more thought processes behind them. I’m barely getting by with a few paragraphs, while Brando is pounding out a short story. Guess I just have vocabulary envy.
Anyways I also want to share:

MS 1337 5P34K v2.0: The money shot- “Thus, the word ham could be written as “|-|4/\/\.”

“Remember, It’s just a ride.”

Know your games? I got a 35 out of 40..w00t! (Bomberman is “Dyna Blaster”, fuckers.) Continue reading

Dead Trees.

Mark got his first issue of Make magazine a few days ago. It seems really nifty, and I can imagine it’s the sort of thing I’d like on my coffee table. I’d also like to get my subscription to Res back and, of course, finally go through with that subscription to Giant Robot. I like the short formatting of magazines and also the portability of a magazine as opposed to a news website or online content aggregator.

Please don’t use the word aggregator around me. It makes me think of agriculture, and by way of association through a lens of non sequitur, makes me think of a ponderous beast of farm equipment weilding silver bladed arms and a crop thrashing set of teeth lining its cavernous maw. This steel skinned, dielsel smoke belching abomination harvests, not assorted crops as foodstuffs to feed the mouth, but RSS feeds, emerging ever so slightly, like juvenile stalks of corn, from a rich soil bed of digital content, in order for we, the digital populous, to feed our brains. It’s a complex scenario to build that takes up most of my ability to process information, and makes it difficult to pay attention to, nevermind take part in, a conversation. Oh, how I digress.

To say that I like magazines is a bit aside from the point. The point may well be that I enjoy magazines. Especially the monthly Res DVD that came slipped inside the magazine, serving as a sort of extra dimension for illustrative purposes to the articles and reviews. This comes across to me, as the extra mile between description and experience. That’s where Make comes into the picture as a tome of experiential articles that beg to be attempted. The city smiles contentedly for homebrew kite photography and your handicam yearns for a chase scene, if only you’d build him the stabilizer he could don, just to make you proud of the footage, calm as a windless lake. Make magazine shows promise, and may well be one of the magazines I subscribe to.

Where does Giant Robot fit into my peculiar appreciation of periodicals? If you’re thinking that I need it as little more than a centerpiece to my coffee table, or because the title “Giant Robot” showing cleverly from my magazine rack would make me seem trendy and not just a little smart, then you’re only slightly right. I mean, who doesn’t love Japanese culture? If, right now, you’re saying that you don’t, then you’re engaging in what we in the business refer to as “lying”. You know you like it because that’s what it’s all about. It’s engineered to be likable and in some spots absurd, bordering on insane. They’ve had many, many years to design a culture that their expats can research, critique, review and present to you in glorious dead tree formatting.

It’s really something, how a collection of strangers opining on subjects at least tangentially related to your interests can be organized into something you’d pay to have delivered to your door to read. And with that reflection on the magazine business, we see my hurdle in getting in on this trade. My door keeps moving, and to be unsure of where you’d like your mail delivered, is to be left out of the monthly portion of shining golden content of magazines.

Oh well, maybe when I move again to a residence a bit more permanent I’ll get back my subscriptions. It’s not like I have any shortage of reading material. The stack of unread books is towering over me by now, and even with short format selections to keep the pace up, such as The Best American Nonrequired Reading series, I can’t seem to find the end of the queue. Hopefully, I never will. Continue reading

The game is called “Water.”… that’s it, just “Water.”

8:55am

Today, upon arrival at work, I begin a double-blind competition with Mark to see who can drink more water during their work day. Once I arrive, I fill my water bottle, a 20 fluid ounce vitamin water bottle, with water from the water cooler just a few meters from my desk. As I sit down to look over the morning’s news on Yahoo’s front page, I drink slowly from the vessel. Crisp and cool, the water soothes my dry throat, having had nothing to drink before leaving the house this morning.

Continue reading

Water-Purifying Magic Straw

BoingBoing.Net: Water Purifying Straw

Ok, Saw this on BoingBoing and instantly I though I had to say something outloud about it.

For 8 Pounds Sterling you can drink otherwise questionable water through a magic straw and it purifies it as it goes. Instantly these thoughts hit my mind:

.) £8 For the straw, How much for you to drink my urine through it?

.) “You do not pee in a mister coffee and get taster’s choice.”

.) “But Miss Pam, There are buggies in da water…”

.) Can I use this on Vladimir Vodka so it won’t taste like rubbing alcohol?

.)”Don’t drink that”
“Huh?”
“Anti-Freeze”
“Why?”
“You’ll go blind”
This message brough to you by the Foundation for Condescending Paternalism. Continue reading

10,000 spoons when all you need is a dictionary.

I wish I could blog more. I really do.
I come across a bunch of web pages per day that I wish I could link the hell out of, but that’s not really my own content is it? When I try to think about why I don’t write as much the only excuses I can come up with are:

1) Between work and class, then I get home I just want to eat and sleep, cuddle and feed the pets.

2) Things are relatively good. Besides the usual bullshit of bills, work and parents, I don’t have much to say that needs to be said. Emotionally I could pour it all out but then I’m most likely going to go back down the self-destruction path. Don’t get me wrong, self-destruction can be fun, but when you begin to have things and people of value around you; throwing them away looking for sympathy and attention seems hard and unneccesary.

Maybe that’s why. I could write more if I could be more truthful to myself and the people around me. Easier said than done.

I wish I could write what I’m actually thinking rather than what I think would be acceptable. Maybe I should work on my vocabulary a bit. My usage of words could use some improving and I’m sure I’m pissing alot ot people off with all the typos, commas and ellipsis. At least then I could hide behind words.

Now I’m going to post a metric fuckton of garbage to keep people occupied while I figure out what and how to post.

My new KozyNDan T-Shirt Rules.

This post was written before a live studio audience.
Props to Zach Braff for the title. Continue reading